A Long Time Between Drinks
It’s so nice to see you again, my Rampant Teenage Angst. I remember when you started writing these blogs, at a suspiciously narrow juncture between your mother sending you a Dr Seuss book in the mail; and oh the places you have been! I guess it’s nice…no, comforting, to see you again in the mirror after all this time. What has it been: 8 years?
I imagine you’re probably wondering why I’m addressing you in the second person, since I am you and you are me (and we’re a dysfunctional internal systems family). Well, I’ve had quite a substantial amount of therapy and have learnt, mostly through mindfulness (specifically in DBT), that we are not our thoughts, and we are not our feelings. Though I do sound unsettlingly like a manic-depressive Tyler Durden reading through old magazines. I am Toby’s wasted life.
I can guess your next question: why am I even writing this at all? Well, to update you on what’s been happening in the world, I was working as a professional musician (your dream angst killer) and then all of a sudden the world is ending and the work has dried up. There was a time – specifically when you were writing all those entries that I recently deleted (very appropriate that I had to literally trash that trash) that you aspired to be a writer. You had some moderate control over the English language, though it was mostly confined to using adjectives and adverbs with lots of letters in it. I guess that’s what happens when the only media you consume comes from Aaron Sorkin and Aldous Huxley.
Well, now there is some modicum of chance of realising that dream in these trying times.
I’m writing here to hopefully prove to any prospective employers that my grasp of the English language has not diminished, and that I have an even better grasp of using the spell-checking tool on my computer (a skill that you may have seen neglected in some of your older posts).
Hopefully the entries that will follow this will be less along the lines of Oscar Wilde’s woes and deprecatory whittlings.
I actually am glad to see you again, however bittersweet it is, my Unresolved Angst. I’m glad you’ve made it this far.
TF
Fredkinstein 