Heyy what’s cracking everybody? Quick pre-warning, this is a little bit sappy and lame and whiney and all those things that lots of people hate, so if you dont’ want to read that sorta thing then please, you don’t have to go on 🙂
So even though it’s been going on for a few months now and what’s happening right now isn’t really all that different from what’s happened before, I’ve had an awful lot of things on my mind. Admittedly a bit more at the moment than before but whatever. And naturally, like anybody going mental, I’m trying to find other pleasantries to fill my time with to try and take my mind off of things but I can never tell what the right thing to do is.
So first of all, I tried what I call the “exam method.” Relatively simple, you treat your problems as if you were your average, run-of-the-mill arts student and your problems were an upcoming final assessment. You do every, single, menial little task you can find to avoid having to deal with the problem. So, I did all the washing of all my clothes, stain removal and sheets and everything, on a washing machine that takes roughly three hours to complete itself. I sweeped, vacuumed and mopped pretty much every surface in the house. It was fucking beautiful I tells ya!
But that was only about six hours of one day. So as far as procrastinating for an exam the next day goes, it was wildly successful. Forgetting all my problems ever, unsuccessful. However, this is certainly a socially and healthily acceptable way to distract one’s self.
Then I tried reading books and watching films. Didn’t work. Very socially acceptable, incredibly inefficient as a real distraction method.
Of course, a logical place for me to go after this was music, being a musician these seemed an appropriate avenue to travel down. Listening to it did me a fat pile of bad, cause it’s like every sad song was written about my problems, every happy song about what life would be like if they were to resolve themselves aaaaand then the songs that are girls singing about their vajayjays make me sad considering how little money I make musically and seemed to only add to the problem. Then I went to play it and I kept playing sad music. “Oh, let’s write reggae!”
“Yeah! In a minor key! Bwahaha!”
Then I tried the most straight-ahead and used distraction method I can think of amongst people my age: hard-liquor. This I find to be an especially efficient method, as I’m by no means an emotional drunk. This distraction, however, is very easy to misconstrue as being an “inappropriate way to deal with your problems.” Well shit, tell me an appropriate way without paying $150 an hour for a shrink and I’ll do it. But sometimes you just need to get silly, get vodka’d up, go to a club with loud, crappy music and dance it out. Hit on everything that moves and subsequently, be rejected by everything that moves. (The most common rejection line used on this specific evening? “Oh sorry, I thought you were gay and I was trying to wingman you for my gay best friend. Are you gay though?” Brutal man.)
And here I am writing now, trying to get stuff off of my mind. See, it’s funny that I’ve developed a problem with how I deal with my problems and now I’m trying to solve that problem about the problem and it’s proving problematic.
Screw this, I’m going to go get Thai food. THEN IT’S TOBY’S BIRTHDAY TONIGHT YAYYY!(Asian Toby’s…not mine)
Rejection game? Rejection game! Tonight I plan to clear the number thirty. The only way to deal with feeling bad about yourself is to literally turn feeling bad about yourself into an artform. Turns out I’m not very good at writing but damned good at being rejected by women.
An inappropriate distraction? Probably. But I feel with things like this, two bads can make it good, right?